Teaching teen driving is more nerve wracking than breastfeeding. For breastfeeding, there was a back up plan: store-bought formula. For driving, the experience I have earned (sometimes the hard way) can’t be transferred in a bottle. When she was knee high, I aimed her body toward open spaces. I padded sharp corners, removed glass vases, covered electrical outlets and locked cabinets. She crawled and explored her motor skills safely. Now, her motor skills again are directed to open spaces, knowing the car bumper, a seat belt, and air bag are all we have for protection. I can’t remove the fire hydrants or electrical poles or lock the steering wheel away from sharp corners with hidden objects.Baby steps. Yes, that’s the ticket!
Lesson 1: Pre-permit, she started the car for me all winter so I enjoyed entering a heated vehicle. I also had her look up from the cell phone while I drove to schools, stores or music lessons. I figured she had to learn the city and whether we were heading north or south, east or west, and had her suggest which direction I should go if I wanted to go home. By early spring, I had her back the car out of garage so she knew how to shift gears.
Lesson 2: This summer, permit in pocket, cell phone tucked away, she buckled up, checked mirrors, and backed out all the way to the street. She asked, “When do I start cutting the wheel?”
“Right about after your back tires are on the street,” I surmised, having not really thought about that before. The teacher ought to know how to teach this, but this is a first for me too!
Once we made the turn backing out of our driveway into the street, she shifted from R to D, and we moved slowly in the direction of the street’s center but suddenly we were facing my neighbor’s front lawn and rushing toward the fire hydrant. “Stop!” I yelled in that blink of a second.
“OOPS! Sorry!” she said. “I stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.” I had her reverse, and then idle forward toward the curb as best as she could, then put it in Park.
“Take off your shoes,” I said. “Trust me. You’ll feel the difference between the pedals.”
“Oh, the brake pedal is closer (higher) to my foot. The gas pedal is further away.” We made it to the end of the street where we practiced right turns, then practiced parking in the garage. I taught her to stop when the side mirror was near the light switch on the wall. Perfect! That was enough for the day.
Lesson 3: We made a plan (practice parking and turns) while the car was still in Park. One can’t just wing it in the city. When my teen and I had a clear notion of where we were headed and how we were going to get there, there was a sense of calm in the car. A lost teen is a nervous teen. Our plan was to find a big lot. Open parking lots to teen drivers are like a coloring book to a two-year-old: staying in the lines doesn’t matter at this point but you feel proud when you do. Here, she was able to master parking between lines and up to a curb. We both gained more confidence –she in her motor driving skills, and me, well, I was ready to put my life in her hands that held the wheel at nine and three.
Lesson 4: Repeat Lesson 3 in a different large parking lot. While this became a bit boring, I was pleased with the progress.
Lesson 5: It was time for slow speed limits. She drove on a curvy road around a Minneapolis lake, 20 mph, using a tiny lakeside parking lot to turn around and go in the opposite direction. Steering greatly improved here, and she was able to park the car, pull out in reverse, and then practice left turns onto the lazy curvy Parkway. Her improved skills meant we were ready to get on a highway. But not in the city.
Lesson 7: With highway driving in mind, we planned a cabin stay near Brainerd, Minnesota where country roads wind around some of our state’s 10,000 lakes (good practice for steering), with varying speed limits from 45 to 60 mph. By the end of the weekend, we had her drive home on Hwy.169 around the views of Lake Mille Lacs. There was a slow moving tractor in the right lane. She switched lanes, and passed it safely. With single lane construction signs and barrels coming up, we decided to stop at a rest area and switch to a parent driver. Wouldn’t you know that just as my husband took over and merged back onto Highway169, that slow tractor was ahead of us again, entering a single lane of construction! Chalk it up to teaching patience.
Lesson 8 was city highway driving where we repeatedly entered and exited a cloverleaf to practice merges before rush hour.
Lesson 9: Parallel parking with cones in that big lot worked great, but we needed a good chunk of time.
Lesson 10: I learned of a program called B.R.A.K.E.S. (Be Responsible and Keep Everyone Safe). It’s a non-profit Teen Pro-Active Driving School taught by racecar drivers. It’s not in out city, so for now we had to practice quick reaction time steering for skids and stops to avoid deer, bicyclists, and other moving targets.
I plan to enjoy this practice phase as long as possible. After all, once your teen’s photo is on a license, she’s not a baby any more! Next it will be time to have a discussion on limits for car sharing, night driving, and what to do if there is a fender bender. Now I’m off to drive myself to the store. All these baby steps gave me some gray hairs that need coloring.
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