In times of loneliness, which can hit intermittently, we all need something to look forward to as the mood booster for the hour, the day, the week. Plans fall through, but when a plan you worked hard to make happen is cancelled, when the rug is pulled from under you, how do you respond?  I was crushed. I cried. Then I reached out while vulnerable, found that making a quiche was a comfort, and taking a chance on a new experience with the addition of a dog pleasantly surprised me. I’m not a “dog person.” Here’s my essay, “When Friends Cancel, Eat Quiche,” published in WINK magazine, Writers in the Know, Issue 15.   The digital copy is free to download. See page 8, Issue 15.

My sister and I left Chicago decades ago to start our own families in less crowded metropolitan spots, Minneapolis and Milwaukee, leaving behind our widowed mother. She lived alone, in a home where the porch and her bedroom could accommodate her wheel-chair bound lifestyle, until it became unsafe for her. She suffered from alcohol-related dementia (ARD), and was increasingly allowed to mix pain pills with alcohol by a selfish caregiver who was quickly fired. Mom agreed she didn’t feel safe at home. When she turned 71, she agreed to move into a local nursing home, and sell the house.

We had been traveling to Chicago monthly for the previous 90 days, alternating weeks so mom had a visitor as she made the adjustment to nursing home life.

The house went up for sale.  It had sold in three days after the listing. My sister persuaded our mom to lower the price to seal the deal on the very first offer. She also had mom agree to pay the buyer’s closing costs, a deal they couldn’t resist. She then handed authority over to me at the point of contract negotiations over inspection issues. The house was built in 1952, never once remodeled and had no handyman on site since 1994 when our Dad died. I had a lot on my list. This particular weekend we were both in town on a mission: clean out mom’s house in preparation for the closing. We had to get the job done in one day, and do it in 3 hours in order to get back to caring for our own children in neighboring states. [Read more…] about How to Run an Estate Sale in 3 Hours

Teaching teen driving is more nerve wracking than breastfeeding. For breastfeeding, there was a back up plan: store-bought formula. For driving, the experience I have earned (sometimes the hard way) can’t be transferred in a bottle. When she was knee high, I aimed her body toward open spaces. I padded sharp corners, removed glass vases, covered electrical outlets and locked cabinets. She crawled and explored her motor skills safely. Now, her motor skills again are directed to open spaces, knowing the car bumper, a seat belt, and air bag are all we have for protection. I can’t remove the fire hydrants or electrical poles or lock the steering wheel away from sharp corners with hidden objects.Baby steps. Yes, that’s the ticket!

Lesson 1: Pre-permit, she started the car for me all winter so I enjoyed entering a heated vehicle. I also had her look up from the cell phone while I drove to schools, stores or music lessons. I figured she had to learn the city and whether we were heading north or south, east or west, and had her suggest which direction I should go if I wanted to go home. By early spring, I had her back the car out of garage so she knew how to shift gears. [Read more…] about Teaching Your Teen to Drive: Baby Steps in the Fast Lane